If the first chapter is mostly talking about materialistic. This time, it will be about emotions.
As the only female sibling in the family, you develop emotions around your circle. In this case, family members. There are two type of emotions that I’m aware, the radical and the artificial.
The radical being the emotion that is born in you, like you get it from your parents. And the artificial being the emotion that you take in from your surrounding as you grow up. That can change at anytime, because it’s not permanent. It’s not in you. No need to hate it, because as everyone says, you can control your emotion.
Emotions is not just about being happy or sad, not just emotions shown on your face. But also in your instinct, in your mind. Ah, I just realized, basically an emotion is firstly down in to your mind and then transferred to your face. That’s the simple explanation I could get.
As a kid, I used to be so cheerful and active. I had so many friends, guys and girls. I was fearless and nothing stopped me from playing all day. Even thought it’s been fifteen years since than, more or less. I still remember some of my life and those which I cherish until now. You could never go wrong from cherishing a memories of your childhood, either it was bad or good.
Would you like to know mine? I’ll let you know some even if you don’t wanna read it.
I once fell from a cherry tree (it’s not the red cherry you know) and landed my head on a rock. Of course I bleed. The story was, none of my friends wanted to climb up or more like they can’t climb up the tree. Just so you know, I used to be a pro at climbing a tree. So, they boosted me up while doing it secretly since the tree was just across from my house and I was afraid to get caught by my father. I guess you can say it’s a karma, I ended up jump over the tree and fell down right on the rock, it hit my forehead.
That was one and I think that’s it for now. Are you good at climbing a tree or anything? I would love to hear your memorable childhood memories. You must one that you couldn’t forget. Don’t be hesitate to share. Everyone loves a good childhood memories.
Back to the topic, since I was a kid I’m not good at expressing my emotions. I used to have a sullen face whenever I got photographed, because I’m not confident in front of a camera, but I’m progressing (Yeay!).
Because I have two brothers and we have a huge age gap between us, we don’t really get along that well. We have a seven years difference on each of us and that is the lacking of interaction for me. Because of that, I think that’s why we couldn’t properly express our feelings.
And as I grow, I don’t have anyone but my mother to lean on. Being the only daughter, I bound to share the responsibility with my mother as now I am capable of doing thing in the household. That thought was so old-fashioned, don’t you think. A man can very much do what woman can.
Being the youngest and only daughter, I feel burdened. Because, my parents only have me to depend on (not materialistically) and when I don’t tend their needs, I feel so devastated. I blame myself for not attend their needs like I suppose to. So, that is one of the reason. If I let my guard down in front of them, I know I will lose it.
For all the daughters out there who is still taking care of your parents, you are so brave. And for those who are an only child. We are doing great up until now. Don’t give up just yet.
I saw this saying on IG; “As long as you still can see the smile on your mother, your life is going to be fine.“
And I can’t agree more with this.
We can agree and disagree, not everyone’s opinion and thought are like me. But this is a part of me what grow on me in my life until now.
Let’s keep in touch here.
Till next time, friends.
- Today’s blog song?
- Camila Cabello – First Man
(This song always got me in tears every time I listen to it. So perfect for this blog related)